apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
