Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
