As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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