Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
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Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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