yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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