I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
