i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
