areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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