But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
