What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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