Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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