anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
