i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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