Screwed.edu
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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