is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
