Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  at least i was looking out for everybody

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz
  Replies (8) Good night (4565) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom. http://tfl.nu/qack
  Replies (30) Good night (5324) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love http://tfl.nu/ix9b
  Replies (26) Good night (6396) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world. http://tfl.nu/7ye4
  Replies (14) Good night (3935) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked. http://tfl.nu/7s06
  Replies (31) Good night (4092) Bad night (1961)
• Favorite

  (830): View more from Texas

  Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (830): Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester http://tfl.nu/187b
  Replies (5) Good night (1996) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  he went at my nipples like a starved dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): he went at my nipples like a starved dog. http://tfl.nu/ku4j
  Replies (11) Good night (612) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Almost there.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Almost there. (1-402): define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway. http://tfl.nu/xjed
  Replies (1) Good night (1695) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate http://tfl.nu/thdo
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Do you think county jail has a Groupon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): Do you think county jail has a Groupon? http://tfl.nu/zc61
  Replies (17) Good night (949) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart. http://tfl.nu/9c5h
  Replies (4) Good night (399) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room http://tfl.nu/wjdc
  Replies (4) Good night (1115) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them. http://tfl.nu/wksg
  Replies (1) Good night (398) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail. http://tfl.nu/8ssh
  Replies (3) Good night (439) Bad night (254)

Randomize