Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Why did you send me a picture of a dick?

(630): View more from Illinois

It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.

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(815): Why did you send me a picture of a dick? (630): It was an accident sry. Not mine tho. http://tfl.nu/rf2s

Replies (15) Good night (857) Bad night (1527)
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(480): View more from Arizona

A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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(480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card. http://tfl.nu/fah6

Replies (47) Good night (5249) Bad night (1115)
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(602): View more from Arizona

every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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(602): every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels.. http://tfl.nu/8nli

Replies (6) Good night (2961) Bad night (929)
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(602): View more from Arizona

you'll never guess what i found when i got home...

(928): View more from Arizona

a cake, in the toilet

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(602): you'll never guess what i found when i got home... (928): a cake, in the toilet http://tfl.nu/md4l

Replies (25) Good night (5812) Bad night (1289)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food

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(403): He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food http://tfl.nu/demt

Replies (20) Good night (3709) Bad night (1551)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

(518): View more from New York

I am in love with you.

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(203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e

Replies (5) Good night (5315) Bad night (1056)
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(602): View more from Arizona

for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.

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(602): for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me. http://tfl.nu/jxdy

Replies (12) Good night (5002) Bad night (1137)
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(248): View more from Michigan

noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.

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(248): noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life. http://tfl.nu/olll

Replies (5) Good night (3709) Bad night (1305)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE

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(480): I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE http://tfl.nu/wmq4

Replies (5) Good night (2465) Bad night (1333)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Drink for every country you've never heard of.

(630): View more from Illinois

Fuuuuuuuuuck

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(815): Drink for every country you've never heard of. (630): Fuuuuuuuuuck http://tfl.nu/g5f9

Replies (9) Good night (2797) Bad night (752)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?

(540): View more from Virginia

One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...

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(757): Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something? (540): One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend... http://tfl.nu/ltk8

Replies (0) Good night (853) Bad night (425)
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(574): View more from Indiana

LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY

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(574): LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY http://tfl.nu/e3an

Replies (3) Good night (1072) Bad night (427)
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(432): View more from Texas

Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like

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(432): Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like http://tfl.nu/z3sn

Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (361)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...

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(318): I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex... http://tfl.nu/uxr0

Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (304)
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(503): View more from Oregon

If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.

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(503): If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus. http://tfl.nu/52w1

Replies (2) Good night (598) Bad night (232)

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