Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ladies don't puke and tell