he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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