Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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  (312): i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab http://tfl.nu/kluh
  Replies (18) Good night (2792) Bad night (836)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.

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  (617): I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation. http://tfl.nu/k6x3
  Replies (35) Good night (6178) Bad night (1015)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.

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  (847): I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note. http://tfl.nu/4rpl
  Replies (47) Good night (14088) Bad night (1388)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms

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  (239): apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms http://tfl.nu/7buk
  Replies (8) Good night (4538) Bad night (945)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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  (973): They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos. http://tfl.nu/2qr6
  Replies (8) Good night (3002) Bad night (986)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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  (303): If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take http://tfl.nu/wz90
  Replies (23) Good night (1218) Bad night (4903)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia

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  (705): my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia http://tfl.nu/20or
  Replies (5) Good night (4805) Bad night (764)
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  (209): View more from California

  you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...

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  (209): you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom... http://tfl.nu/nw55
  Replies (9) Good night (3583) Bad night (1239)
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  (619): View more from California

  Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.

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  (619): Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer. http://tfl.nu/flbo
  Replies (17) Good night (2459) Bad night (1084)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.

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  (832): Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice. http://tfl.nu/bv8r
  Replies (12) Good night (1835) Bad night (977)
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  (212): View more from New York

  So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober

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  (212): So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober http://tfl.nu/1m5a
  Replies (6) Good night (3033) Bad night (830)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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  (902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3
  Replies (6) Good night (2011) Bad night (1404)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.

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  (330): It started with jello shots. It ended with tears. http://tfl.nu/yarv
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (891)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk

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  (248): I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk http://tfl.nu/6hfb
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine

  (1-952): View more from Minnesota

  I just got chills

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  (952): What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine (1-952): I just got chills http://tfl.nu/9spt
  Replies (0) Good night (686) Bad night (469)

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