Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
