No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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