You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
