Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
