there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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