How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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