i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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