I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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