so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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