...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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