See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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