spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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