WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
