And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
