yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I love having hate sex.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize