in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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