So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
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I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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