All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
