ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
