He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
