**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize