Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize