just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
