it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
