From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize