so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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