Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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