Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize