He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
