my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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