So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
