so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
