last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
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We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in