Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Will you blow on my dice?

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  (248): Will you blow on my dice? http://tfl.nu/qi0r
  Replies (3) Good night (1335) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly

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  (860): I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly http://tfl.nu/inbj
  Replies (14) Good night (960) Bad night (3545)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer

  (214): View more from Texas

  ... I'm KD

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  (903): I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer (214): ... I'm KD http://tfl.nu/mzja
  Replies (38) Good night (701) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6897) Bad night (1053)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest

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  (732): just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest http://tfl.nu/tjgh
  Replies (13) Good night (4327) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm

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  (904): the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm http://tfl.nu/rl73
  Replies (10) Good night (2518) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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  (773): I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs http://tfl.nu/g3cl
  Replies (3) Good night (3410) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?

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  (+44): Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance? http://tfl.nu/duxd
  Replies (9) Good night (1232) Bad night (2163)
• Favorite

  (660): View more from Missouri

  The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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  (660): The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment http://tfl.nu/9skg
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You fed me pizza off a sword last night.

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  (360): You fed me pizza off a sword last night. http://tfl.nu/xrl7
  Replies (17) Good night (1550) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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  (570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/3oup
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.

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  (915): Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist. http://tfl.nu/1ory
  Replies (1) Good night (515) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.

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  (231): I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me. http://tfl.nu/8mfk
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ

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  (515): My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ http://tfl.nu/eoqa
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (193)

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