YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
