how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
