It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think your dad took our porno
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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