A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
