And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
