yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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