I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
