She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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