She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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