OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize