You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Someone shit on the floor
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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